beachin'

I'm beachin'.

This entire weekend will be devoted to sun, surf(?) and sand! I'm here in a not-so-remote island in the Visayas and well, so far everything's peachy. I've stuffed myself with enough seafood and foodie goodies to properly declare myself a glutton and yup, walked and bummed the place. It's day two for now, and well, i'm... bored. Yup. I'm bored.

Ok, not entirely bored, just preoccupied, i guess. Yesterday was pretty jampacked with all the necessary arrangements i had to make for the trip. After all, it's not everyday that i get to do this and well, i am pretty excited. Kulang na lang i-pack ko na rin yung sarili ko sa bag ko dahil sa sobrang kati na umalis. The trip was uneventful, save for some air turbulence getting here.

So here i am, by myself, blogging. Hahaha. For some reason i miss blogging. It's been what, two days since i checked my mail? I feel totally lost here. I tell ya, i can never live on an island; i'd rather be in the city.

It's not that the company isn't good; it's been great actually. The whole crew is pretty interesting, and yes, you get to hear some very colorful stories from all sorts of people. Doing a group activity takes its toll on me pretty quick though. Most of the time you have got to be in sync with everybody and so far, it's good. When it comes to certain quirks though, i may not be that resilient as the rest.

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I woke up really early this morning to get some early swimming. I find myself alone, at the beach, taking in the cold yet amazingly wonderful water. It's a good way to wake up, and after a while, i head back to shower off the sand. Jason stops by and we head for the coffee place we promised we'd check out. After some breakfast we head out for more swimming.

*sigh* This is good. I wish i can stop time temporarily and enjoy this some more.

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I'm by myself for now since i'm too cheap to go where the group is going (i'm saving up so i can be here comfortably till we get back to the city). It's ok actually, i think this is good for me to be by myself for a while. Given the happenings in the past couple of days,the beach vibe and some alone time can give me some time to just chill and try to make sense of things...

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I feel aliented sometimes whenever i'm with the group because quite frankly, i know i can't totally relate to them since i've never been out of the country, never grew up anywhere but here, and may do so anytime soon. As much as i love their company and enjoy the stories and learn more stuff about other places, i sometimes feel inadequate in sharing anything since i've never been anywhere.

I really need to get out more.

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Being here, i feel a bit nostalgic, especially when i see places where we hung out once. There were certain times on this trip that i felt sad, and i wonder if this was something that happens on occassion...I find myself comparing and wondering now, especially since i have a lot of time to think. (bad, bad lette!) It doesn't help that since we're in a big group, Jays and I take pains not to be too mushy in front of the people. Now that we seem to travel in packs most of the time, the "alone time" is nil and well, it sucks not to be able to cuddle with your bf in such a nice place.

*sigh* Maybe this is just me being sentimentally shitty again. Or maybe i just need some luvin'. *sigh* It sucks to have a bf who does his best to keep things cool so everybody can enjoy and not get sick of the lovey-dovey couple. (phooey!)

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Ok, so i'm getting all sentimental and crappy again. My apologies. :-P I'm never used to the whole "we're together but we're not" vibe i'm getting this weekend, no matter how much i try to stay cool. Maybe this is just a phase. I really hope so.

For now i'm just glad there's connection.

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